10 Keys for a Perfect Relationship
By Railey Molinario, the Love Educator
Many of us dream of the perfect relationship. #couplegoals recently trended on instagram with 39.4 million posts. We all dream of a life with our partner full of bliss and harmony.
Although that's what we are all striving for, it's not the reality of what we are experiencing. Many of our relationships look a little bit more like this...
Fighting about the same issues weekly or daily. Living with a lack of enthusiasm and excitement. Having an underwhelming sex life that has dwindled over time. Suffering from mistrust, lack of appreciation, and boredom.
We may sometimes feel that we are drifting apart from our partner and don't know whether or not to stay together. If you feel that any of this sounds familiar to you, you're not alone.
Leading British law firm Stewerts logged a 122% increase in enquiries about divorce between July and October 2020 compared to 2019.
So if so many of us are experiencing the latter, how do we make the shift into a real and sustainable #couplegoal life?
The perfect relationship is not one without difficulties or obstacles. It is defined as having all the required and desirable elements of a relationship as much as it is possible to be.
A perfect relationship is like a perfect life, one that minimizes negativity and highlights positivity. The more good that happens in our lives the happier we are. And the more bad that occurs the more unhappy we are. It's a simple formula that takes a lot of conscious effort and hard work to achieve but in the end will result in a happy and healthy relationship and overall life.
+ More good
- Less bad
= perfect relationship
So, how do we obtain this Perfect Relationship?
First, we must minimise the "bad"
We can do that by practicing the following:
1. Each partner practices self care as self care is a direct investment into your relationship.
2. Understanding and accepting our partners needs, desires, and opinions.
3. Having an effective conflict resolution plan (The Power Couple's Problem Solving Technique)
4. Accept obstacles with grace and work on solving them as a team. When you are in conflict, it isn't Partner 1 vs Partner 2. It's The Couple vs The Problem.
5. Avoid the four relationship viruses.
1. criticism
2. defensiveness
3. stonewalling
4. contempt
Then, we must maximise the "good"
6. Practicing compassion, giving freedom and celelbrating joy.
7. Invest more time in your relationship as quality time is a must. Studies show that in order to maintain a happy and healthy relationship, you must invest both time and energy. If you are unable to, adjust your expectations to avoid disappointment.
8. Continue to check in with each other weekly using the Power Couple's Weekly Checklist.
9. Focus on the little things. Small gestures of Love often are the key to maintaining a connection in long term unions. Showing gratitude and appreciation, doing small but significant favors for one another, investing time for physical inttimacy and any other forms of connection that can be made of a daily basis.
10. Create or revisit your common vision to analyse your relationship goals.
Ready to take your relationship to the next level and create the thriving life and relationship you deserve? Start with your Consultation so we can analyse your relationship goals.
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