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Things To Remember When Setting Boundaries


By Jan King


Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously - Prentis Hemphill


It is my responsibility to find what brings me joy

It's okay if others get angry

It's okay to say no 

I am not responsible for other peoples happiness


Setting boundaries with family members can be challenging, as there are often deep-rooted emotional connections. Our family members know us well and there is a desire to maintain harmony and avoid hurting anyone's feelings. 


However, it's important to remember that setting boundaries is not a negative or selfish act it’s an act of self-love and often self-preservation.


It's about defining your personal limits and expectations for how you want to be treated. This ultimately contributes to better healthier relationships.


Here are some tips for setting boundaries with your family:


1. Reflect on your own needs and values:


Before communicating your boundaries, take the time to understand your own needs, values, and priorities. This self-reflection will help you establish clear boundaries that align with your values and goals. Ask yourself what matters to you.


2. Communicate openly and honestly:


Approach your family members with open and honest communication. Express your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. 


Use "I" statements to express how certain behaviours or actions make you feel. Refrain from accusing or blaming others. Boundaries are about finding a space to have your needs met.


3. Be specific and assertive:


Clearly define the boundaries you want to set. Be clear about what behaviours or actions are not acceptable to you. It's essential to be strong and firm in expressing your boundaries while maintaining respect for others' perspectives.


4. Expect resistance and stay firm:


Understand that some family members might resist or have difficulty accepting your boundaries initially. They may be accustomed to specific dynamics or have different expectations. Stay firm in your limits while remaining empathetic and understanding.


5. Offer alternatives and compromises:


If possible, offer alternative solutions or compromises that can meet both your needs and those of your family members. Finding a middle ground can help ease tensions and promote understanding.


6. Seek support if needed:


If you find it challenging to set boundaries or face significant resistance from your family, consider seeking support from a therapist, counsellor, or support group. They can provide guidance and help you navigate the process.


Remember, setting boundaries is a process that requires time and effort. It's normal to encounter some resistance or discomfort initially, but ultimately, it can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships with your family.


Tell me a boundary you are wanting to share and I will give you a way to loving communicate it.


Message me Janice.king3@btinternet.com or DM on Facebook

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