By Katrin Hinkle Zeller
They say we marry someone with whom we can heal the wounds of our childhoods and prove them not to be true. I have always hated that saying. But when I found myself deep in my own marriage struggle with three little kids hanging on my skirt and faced the possibility of divorce since we simply didn't seem able to create a healthy thriving relationship, I had to come to grips with the truth. Partly, my husband did bring me in contact with my deepest pains and fears. Yes, I did choose him to create the deep love I have always desired.
In the midst of our challenges, I realized that the deep love and security I was desperately seeking in our relationship needed to be found within myself first. This understanding was a turning point. It wasn’t about forcing a deep connection with my husband; it was about fostering a deep connection with myself. Through this journey, I discovered that the love and security I was yearning for were things I could cultivate internally.
The path to get there was through reparenting my inner child and rewiring the deep-seated unconscious beliefs that had kept me imprisoned for so long. It was a process of healing those old wounds, addressing the parts of myself that felt unworthy, scared, and unloved. By nurturing my inner child, I began to rewrite my story, replacing self-doubt and fear with self-love and confidence.
This journey of falling in love with myself was transformative. I found a sense of security, safety, and confidence that I had never known. I learned to love myself deeply, to have compassion for my own struggles, and to support myself through life’s challenges. This inner transformation not only benefited me but also had a profound impact on my children. By healing myself, I was able to show up as a more present, loving, and secure parent. I could provide them with the stability and love they needed because I had found it within myself first.
As I healed, our marriage began to shift. The tension and conflict that once seemed insurmountable started to dissolve. We were no longer fighting against each other; instead, we were working together to build a relationship based on mutual respect, understanding, and love. The relationship that once felt impossible became a source of joy and fulfillment.
Today, my husband and I enjoy a thriving relationship that is filled with love and connection. We communicate openly, support each other’s growth, and have fun together. The journey to get here was not easy, but it was worth every step. It taught me that the deep love I desired was possible, but it had to start with me. By healing myself, I created the space for a healthier, happier relationship.
This experience has shown me the power of inner healing. It’s a journey that requires courage and commitment, but it leads to a life filled with love, joy, and connection. If you find yourself struggling in your relationships, know that the change starts within. By healing your inner wounds, you can create the deep love and fulfilling relationships you have always desired.
Are you ready to cultivate the deep love and security you've been craving? Book a connection call with me today to begin your journey of inner healing and transformation.
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