By Norma Brscic
Every mom reaches a point in her motherhood when she gets triggered by something her child does or doesn’t do.
When we are triggered, we often react in ways that are not helpful to our child and damage the relationship between us. We may yell, say things we don’t mean, or even hit our child. Then the regret, guilt and shame send us into another rabbit hole.
All of that happens because our emotions overwhelm us and we lose connection with ourselves and our bodies. Our emotional shut downs or withdrawals over time damage the relationship we have with our child. It becomes difficult for our child to feel safe and secure around us because she never knows when is the next time, she will lose this connection with us that she needs for emotional survival.
This is why it is so important for moms to work on removing their triggers.
That might seem contra intuitive, but when I work with moms, we don't spend any time researching where the triggers came from because – thank goodness - that is not necessary for us to be able to heal and permanently remove the triggers. But our ego aka rational mind wants to know why and where and here's the answer.
In general triggers stem from our past, usually our childhood. Our parents didn't know how to handle their or our emotions so they punished us and took away their love and affection when we had big feelings. That caused us to never be able to learn how to emotionally regulate and learn how to deal with our emotions in a healthy way. We learned to supress our emotions or dissociate from our bodies when the amount of emotions present in our body exceeds our capacity of handling emotions.
Removing triggers should be the highest priority for every mom because it helps you be the best mom you can be.
Here are 3 things that happen after you heal and remove your triggers:
1. You stop reacting in ways that damage the relationship with your child.
2. It’s easier to connect with your child on an emotional level.
3. You feel more joy and connection with yourself, you become a happier mom and it’s like grey clouds went far away.
If you want to stop being triggered all the time and step in trigger-free parenting period, please reach out! I’d love to help you!
Send me an email with your situation here: firstname.lastname@example.org