By Railey Molinario, The Love Educator
Have you ever wondered how you can also build a thriving long-term relationship? You might have wondered many times about how some couples are able to become power couples and what their secret is. Well, I am here to reveal the secrets of power couples! Keep on reading to find out!
What is a power couple?
Let’s start with defining what a power couple really means. A power couple is a couple deeply in Love who is able to navigate their relationship successfully. This doesn’t mean th
at they don’t face any problems in their relationship but rather, it means that they are able to successfully work through the problems in their lives through effective communication. Good communication means that they can solve their problem without fighting.
Every couple faces conflicts in their lives. In fact, married couples who don’t have any conflict are usually the ones whose marriage ends in divorce. But this conflict does not refer to harmful conflict and fighting, instead, it refers to a couple facing a problem, voicing their opinions/concerns, and then resolving the issue together through mutual trust and understanding.
How do power couples solve conflicts?
The answer to this question is effective communication, and you can master this art too! On average, couples fight 1 to 3 times per week. This means that most couples fight as often as 130 times a year. Turning a conflict into a fight is the wrong way to solve problems. Fighting with your partner is due to the fact that both of you do not know how to compromise, negotiate, communicate effectively, and solve the problem together. A thriving and healthy relationship cannot be created if you and your partner do not learn effective communication.
How to master the art of effective communication:
1. Understand your partner
When two people come together in a relationship, they create three entities.
Partner One
Partner Two
The Couple
It is necessary to have a good relationship with each of these entities to form a healthy relat
ionship. You must learn how to care for yourself, care for your partner, and care for your relationship. To nurture your relationship, you need to understand your partner’s needs, wants, and feelings. Tolerating and forgiving your partner’s flaws is the most important step to creating a thriving relationship.
Furthermore, always be open-minded to hearing your partner’s concerns and different opinions. We should never shut the other person out and refuse to listen. To maintain effective communication, you must be always willing to understand your partner without any judgment or expectations. This does not mean that you should always agree with what they say, rather, you should accept them. How well do you know your partner's inner psychological world, their history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes? Ask them questions about these topics and accept their answers. If you disagree with anything, take the time to communicate that with them in an understanding manner without any anger or negativity.
2. Effective listening and speaking
Do not go through a multitude of topics at once. Base your conversation on one topic at a time and learn how to be a good speaker and listen by practicing the following:
The Speaker
1. Speak clearly and directly to your partner while maintaining eye contact.
2. Do not speak without letting your partner comment, take pauses in between.
3. Use
“I” statements. Do not place the blame completely on your partner by using “you” statements.
The Listener
Listen with an open mind and do not assume what your partner is trying to say or what they mean.
Practice uninterrupted listening: Be aware that when we are in an argument, our attention span caps at ten seconds before we stop focusing on what the other person is saying and begin to think of our defensive statements.
Do not show any judgmental behavior regardless of whether or not you agree. Comment on what they said to show that you were listening and validate their feelings.
3. Learn to have a time-out
If you need a break because the conversation is getting too heated, it is okay to do so. Here's how to convey this to your partner in the correct manner through effective communication:
Maintain eye contact with your partner and tell them that you love them but feel upset and overwhelmed right now.
Tell them that you would like to continue this conversation later when you are feeling better and that this conversation is important to you.
Tell them directly that you are going to take a break from the conversation right now. Give them the amount of time you need and tell them what you are going to do in that time.
Walk away and do something that is self-soothing like going for a walk, meditating, or journaling.
Acknowledge and remember that you need to come back and resume the conversation yourself.
Once you are feeling more grounded, tell your partner that you appreciate the space they gave you.
Continue the conversation from a loving and understanding place.
4. Take the Emotional Intelligence quiz:
Take the Emotional Intelligence quiz with your Loved one to maintain effective communication and acknowledge if there’s any behavior you or your Loved one needs to improve based on the answers.
Do you think before you speak when in conflict?
Do you learn from negative feedback from your partner?
Do you show empathy towards your partner? How?
Do you praise your partner when they have accomplished something or do something that pleases you? How?
Do you give helpful feedback when your partner does something you don't like? How?
Maintaining good and effective communication with your partner is necessary for a relationship. Follow the advice I have given above and become a power couple that has mastered the art of effective communication! This is your first step to a healthy and thriving relationship that lasts long-term and makes both of you happy.
Don't forget your free copy of the Ultimate Guide To A Thriving Relationship for more tips on exactly how to create the happy and healthy relationship you deserve!
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